The Horrors Persist Birthday Card | Funny Existential Possum Greeting Card

🎉 The horrors persist… but it’s your birthday.

When life feels like an unending spiral of existential dread - but hey. Cake.

🖋 What It Is

A hand-drawn Bit of Moss birthday card that balances existential despair with festive chaos. The front features a dead-eyed possum staring into the abyss; the inside continues the party with confetti and a balloon.

This funny existential birthday card is perfect for anyone who copes with humor, sarcasm, and just a touch of void energy.

Outside text: THE HORRORS PERSIST (happy birthday!)
Inside text: You’ve earned a day of shrieking into the void (but make it festive).

Blank space remains for your own handwritten message.

💌 Perfect For

• Friends who scream into the void regularly

• Millennials and Gen Z masters of ironic optimism

• Lovers of dark humor and existential vibes

• Anyone who survived another trip around the sun

• Birthday celebrations with a little feral energy

📐 Product Details

• Original illustrations by Bit of Moss

• Printed on 100% recycled, FSC-certified cardstock

• Blank space inside for your message

• Envelope included (color may vary by size)

• Made to order to reduce waste and keep every print fresh

• Packaged in an EcoEnclose recycled rigid mailer — plastic-free and sturdy

💀 Vibe

• Sarcastic

• Self-aware

• Millennial misery with confetti

• Equal parts despair and delight

📏 Sizes

Small (4.5" × 5.5")
Sweet and compact — perfect for quick notes or gift toppers.

Standard (5" × 7")
The classic greeting card size.

Large (8.5" × 11")
Frame-worthy and doubles as wall art.

Jumbo (9" × 12")
Extra impactful and display-ready.

🌿 Sustainability + Shipping

• Printed with sustainability in mind

• 100% recycled, FSC-certified cardstock and envelopes

• Plastic-free, recycled (and recyclable) mailing materials

• Made to order to minimize excess inventory waste